This column on stress appeared on Ziptone on Dec. 13, 2024
Imagine this: things are not going well at work. You are a customer contact manager at a company with disappointing sales figures. Logical, because the quality of the products is substandard. Customers call in droves about this, causing customer contact costs to skyrocket. One after the other from your team reports sick .
Stress with a capital S
Customers are dissatisfied, the atmosphere is to die for, and at home you are not thanked for being in your thoughts at the office even during Sundays and holidays. As icing on the cake, you are called to the carpet by your obnoxious boss. You feel that you are going to be yelled at, because your obnoxious boss likes to yell at people to relieve her own tension. Stress with a capital S.
How do you respond to this?
- Like a true Rocky, you storm your boss’ office and kick her ass. Verbally though, because you are not a cave man.
- You grab your keys and your coat and leave the building with screeching tires.
- The power in your brain seems to be shut off. Everything goes on blank. You don’t know what to do, and imitate a statue, ignoring all the calls and apps from the horrid office.
- You go into your boss’s office. Willingly, you allow yourself to be scolded. You also strongly agree with your boss on all points, offer her a cup of coffee and three nights of free overtime, and compliment her on her new shoes.
- You collapse like a pudding and stare apathetically at the dirty floor.
A little bit of stress is no big deal
In the customer contact world, where unpredictability is the only constant factor, stress is an uninvited guest that likes to come and disrupt things for a moment unannounced. A little stress, is no big deal. But prolonged exposure to large amounts of stress is not good for humans. This is why we have developed strategies to deal with stress. To avoid the extra stress of remembering all these strategies, we have chosen a simple name: the five F’s.
Strategies: the five F’s
It began around 1920 with only two strategies: ‘fight’ or ‘flight.’ Some 50 years later, the ‘freeze’ option was added. Three options seemed sufficient, but still didn’t cover the load. And so in this century two more strategies have been added: ‘fawn’ and ‘flop’. Fight, flight and freeze speak for themselves: you either fight the fight, get out of the way, or freeze. The other two need a little more context. Fawning involves coming to terms with what scares you. Sort of a light version of Stockholm syndrome, where people develop warm feelings for their captors. Flop, which has many similarities to “freeze. The only difference is that a freezer stands still, and a flopper collapses like a pudding.
… and that one E
While everyone has their own way of dealing with stress, I have found a sixth strategy: Excel. As soon as I suffer from stress, it’s time to open a new sheet. I calculate, analyze, predict and vlookup the source of all the misery. Just until I have the world back and all the facts in order. Columns and rows are my yoga, formulas my mantras.
Excel is not only my personal handhold. It is also a true life-saver in the chaotic world of customer contact. What problem can’t it solve? Creating follow-up lists, building schedules, setting up financial plans, collecting data, designing floor plans, analyzing customer survey results or storing discount codes. Whether it’s creating a crisis plan for yet another wave of angry customers, or understanding why customers are dropping out en masse: Excel always seems to have the answer. Even for planning an office party or keeping track of who left the coffee beans burning this time.
Not long ago, I spoke to someone who has one mission in his job: to eliminate Excel from organizations, as if that would save the world from all evil. I wish this person tremendous success, in his mission impossible.
It’s like a cold sore
As a customer contact manager, you know one thing for sure: stress is like a cold sore. It always shows up when you least need it, makes a mess of everything, and lingers just a little too long. But how you deal with it makes all the difference. Maybe you’re a fighter who gives her boss a verbal lesson, or a fugitive who discreetly shies away. Maybe your brain freezes, you try to appease your boss with a compliment, or you lie in the proverbial corner like a collapsed fish. Either way, stress will always take its own course.
So the next time you feel overwhelmed, remember: even stress is just a client on hold. Take a deep breath, open Excel (or a bottle of wine) and choose a strategy. Customer contact remains unpredictable, but for everything else, there are the five Fs – and that one E.
